The One Where Everybody Loves Allen

“Ohh, Satan’s minions at work again!”-Chandler

Title: “The One with the Thumb” (S1, E3)

Air Date: (10/06/1994)

Run Time: 22:47

Phoebe walks into Central Perk. Will this episode be completely Phoebe centric? No, of course not. It’s an ensemble sitcom.

It seems she had a bad date. She tells the gang that he told her, “We should do this again, sometime,” which apparently is bad news bears in the dating world. Not that I would know.

Their conversation segways onto dead pets (naturally), and Ross actually believes that Chi-Chi, the Geller’s dog, went to a farm. He’s so gullible that I almost feel bad for him, almost.

Back at Chandler and Joey’s apartment: The BrosTM are practicing lines together. Joey is by far a better actor than Chandler, which is saying something. Joey attempts to light up a cigarette, and then Chandler gives him some great pointers. Chandler apparently quit smoking three years ago, so Joey is hesitant to have Chandler teach him all the ins and outs of the cigarette life. Chandler’s speech about cigarettes rivals Marshall Erikson’s speech about the burger, which is saying something.

Moving forward, the gang is back at Central Perk. They are now talking about measuring something on a guy (wink wink nudge nudge)—tip of the thumb to the index finger. The guys are extremely horrified, especially Ross (no surprise here). Rachel needs to step up her waitressing skills, and her friends also need to correct her. Come on people, reality is very harsh.

Phoebe comes in to Central Perk, and she is distraught because there is a mysterious $500.00 in her bank account. Rachel says she should spend of the money on shopping, but Phoebe is such a moral compass. Chandler swallows a cigarette and then gets berated for smoking by the gang, as he should.

Monica has a date with Allen (hopefully he is better than Paul the Wine Guy). Her friends apparently pick on her dates, so she doesn’t want to introduce him to them. Poor Steve, Monica’s former beau.

Back at Monica’s apartment: Ross is still mourning Chi-Chi. Chandler is smoking outside in the rain. Monica is nervous about her date. Phoebe is still having the best banking problems ever. They gave her a football phone, and now she has all them monies. Allen seems like a keeper since he makes fun of Steve, too.

The date is over. Do they like Allen? Do they hate him? Will the world end in an apocalyptic fashion?

Answer: They loved him (and the jury is still out on the state of the world). Wow, maybe Monica found a winner after all. Joey loves his smile. Allen set the bar—in Ross’ mind—for which Monica must measure all her future boyfriends; Ross and the gang like the way Allen makes them feel about themselves.

The gang even won a softball game because of Allen. Bugs Bunny he was, according to Ross who apparently sees life through Bugs Bunny glasses. I’m starting to think they all like Allen more than Monica likes Allen.

Phoebe tries to do charity with her money by giving it to someone named Lizzie, and Lizzie refers to her as “weird girl.” #Truth.

We finally see where Chandler works—in a cubicle of misery. He sneaks smokes at work. Detective music plays in the background. Sneaky, v. sneaky, Chandler.

Lizzie buys Phoebe a soda, in which Phoebe finds a thumb. How?! Meanwhile, Chandler insults all of his friends because he loves his cigarettes too much.

Allen shames Chandler on the whole smoking bit. Nice to know that Friends was ahead of the curb with hating on tobacco, or maybe they weren’t, since I was an infant when this premiered. Chandler is almost as angry as my dad was when he quit smoking. Maybe Chandler should have Tic Tacs. He is so extra on the sarcasm.

Phoebe now has $7000.00 dollars since the company compensated her for having a thumb in her soda. Um, sign me up, Universe.

Monica gives the crew the we need to talk speech about Allen. They are all #devastated. Then, while Monica is breaking up with Allen, he drops major news: “I had a great time with you. I just can’t stand your friends.” Good thing she dumped him.

Update: Ross still has not asked Rachel out. Maybe he will in episode four.

Phoebe Shocked

Shocked Phoebe provided by Giphy

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